Mr. and Mrs. Claus

Here are some lyrics I wrote for a Christmas song last year. I'll write some music when I get home then record it. For now, enjoy:

It was the night before one Christmas, and all throughout my house
I could hear a noise a-stirring, much louder than a mouse
I thought it was Saint Nicholas, so down the stairs I snuck
Imagine my surprise when I saw my parents fuck

CHORUS
Oh, Christmas time is here,
The birth of Christ above
I never would have guessed to see
My parents making love
I don't look to judge
And I don't look to blame
But I promise that I'll never, ever
See that couch the same.

For St. Nick I'd left some milk, and some cookies out to eat
But another pair of Jingle Balls were getting nice and beat
As I saw my father's hairy ass, I gagged and could taste bile
I never knew my parents were so into doggy-style

CHORUS/BREAK

And as I sing this Christmas song, I'm still in therapy
And I've not had an erection since 1993
And if there is a moral here, besides being annoyed
It's fuck my fucking parents and goddamn that Sigmund Freud!

CHORUS 2X