Science H. Logic!

The ever-reliable Richard Dawkins has some words for a thermodynamics professor at Leeds University who thinks the world is 6,000 years old and that evolution violates the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

Putting Our Ears in the Uncanny Valley

Here's the ever-trusty Mr. Malcolm Gladwell writing in the New Yorker about Platinum Blue, the firm whose software can mathematically predict a song's hit potential, and whether or not a similar enterprise can be launched for the cinema. Weeeeeird, man.

What I Did at Work Today

The Tit, the Queen, and Creatures of Context

Here's a neat little editorial about creatures adapting vocal patterns to their environment, from the tit up to Tony Blair. I've been using the words "brilliant" and "twat" (pronounced like "hat," not the Americanized "twot") quite a bit more since moving to London, so I can relate.

Mr. and Mrs. Claus

Here are some lyrics I wrote for a Christmas song last year. I'll write some music when I get home then record it. For now, enjoy:

It was the night before one Christmas, and all throughout my house
I could hear a noise a-stirring, much louder than a mouse
I thought it was Saint Nicholas, so down the stairs I snuck
Imagine my surprise when I saw my parents fuck

CHORUS
Oh, Christmas time is here,
The birth of Christ above
I never would have guessed to see
My parents making love
I don't look to judge
And I don't look to blame
But I promise that I'll never, ever
See that couch the same.

For St. Nick I'd left some milk, and some cookies out to eat
But another pair of Jingle Balls were getting nice and beat
As I saw my father's hairy ass, I gagged and could taste bile
I never knew my parents were so into doggy-style

CHORUS/BREAK

And as I sing this Christmas song, I'm still in therapy
And I've not had an erection since 1993
And if there is a moral here, besides being annoyed
It's fuck my fucking parents and goddamn that Sigmund Freud!

CHORUS 2X

Hilarious Bible Verses

My personal favorite is the one that ends with "and the dung came out."

Space Is the Place (Episode I - The Emcee Strikes Back)

Here are the lyrics for the new rap song from Rabbits' Feet and Microfilms.

Space Is The Place (Episode I - The Emcee Strikes Back)

A long time ago, from a galaxy far, far away, a man fell to the earth and this is what he had to say

3,720 to one
You can kiss my asteroid pucker up son
Funky like the Meters walk a cissy strut
I eat too much because I’m Jabba the Hutt

Eating yummy snails like I'm a Parisian
Here goes nothing Lando Calrissian
Billy Dee Williams Colt 45
Knocking back 40s cos it works every time

R U drunk too I would like to knows
Got double vision I think I see three o those
Once you go Wookiee there’s no other nookie
So give that big hairy beast a chocolate cookie

I've got the G-forces that are in your face
Make no mistake son space is the place
Stratosphere gone baby fade to black
Episode I the emcee strikes back

TK 421 why aren’t you at your post
Sorry dad I'm jamming to the host with the most
Why step to me sonny don’t you even bother
My name is J-son but I am your father

I’m so high that my city’s in the clouds
My eyelids are low and my bass is real loud
Beats like the Death Star ultimate weapon
Listen up here Greedo don’t you be steppin’

Blaster at my side a killer I’m the best
Fry your sorry ass and say I'm sorry about the mess
Flipping on my lightsaber chopping up younglings
Deep-frying Jedi like they was onion rings

I've got the G-forces that are in your face
Make no mistake, son, space is the place
Stratosphere gone, baby, fade to black
Episode I the emcee strikes back

Roger roger
Roger roger

Rebellion, star wars I declare
An empire falls cos of fuzzy wuzzy bears
Sorry there Georgie Boy you cold suck
Howard the Duck? What the fuck

Exsqueeze me! Yippee! Lucas one-liners
Anakin and Luke Skywalker were whiners
One grabbed his sister and swapped some spit
The other one knocked up the Garden State chick

Beats by demand the battle of the planets
Vader couldn't do it any better if he'd planned it
Princess Leia never ever wore a bra
This is going out to my man Sun Ra

Locking S-foils in attack position
Clairvoyant, baby, got the Force intuition
Shields still up, fleet’s getting zapped
Admiral Ackbar- it’s a trap

Strap your ass in and hold onto your face
We’re gonna make the jump into hyperspace

VERY Early Talking Heads Video

The band playing "Psycho Killer" at CBGBs. It's before Jerry Harrison joined the band. I love YouTube.